I do feel the need to show a little taste (ahem) of what my time in China was like. This was written toward the end of my stay:
Title: I swallowed a Bug
"No, seriously, I swallowed a bug. Like on purpose.
I have long considered this as a possible course of action, a by-product (I fear) of too many nights hunkered down in front of the telly, watching Bear Grylls parachute his stupid ass into whatever dank pit of sweltering evil he's decided to visit this week. Usually, this means he ends up munching down on whatever rotting deer or grubby larvae he can get his hands on, all while eating steak and drinking chianti safely off-camera. In this mindset, I decided to venture forth last night into the unknown realm of insect eating.
This began innocently enough. Our friend Katherine and her mother decided to invite us out to dinner last night, which we thought was a wonderful idea, especially me, whose intake that day had so far amounted to an apple and a cup of "coffee" from the school's local canteen. First we stopped by their home long enough for me to snap a few pics of the local architecture, as I wanted to give viewers at home an idea of what a house in China looked like. I'm glad I got this in before I left, as there is a difference between the countries here, to be sure. We decided after minimal debate to head to a barbecue place, of which I have heard stories, but never experienced.
We took a taxi to the restaurant, as walking around right now is inadvisable. We had a snowstorm the other day, and the lack of salt on the roads mixed with the amount of traffic during and after the storm combined to create sheets of ice that traveled for blocks. The sun has helped to melt them, a bit, but there are still pockets of resistance, and walking can easily result in being knocked flat quite fast. I also would not advise riding bicycles right now, as you would have a target painted on you larger than that found on the "wormy, coporate guy" in a standard horror movie. By the way, I'm donating my bike, sardonically dubbed "Serenity" to Katherine and her mother, to do as they will with it.
But back to the restaurant. The taxi (Sliding a little) managed to get us to the place we were going, and we hastily made our way inside. Most of the barbecue was standard fare, albeit different from a barbecue in America. We cooked our own food, like at a Fondue place, and were soon feasting on mushrooms, pork, chicken, green beans, and some beef that were thrown onto the mini-grill, and popped ferociously with grease that scalded the fingers whenever you reached in to grab them with chopsticks.
You may notice that I decided to leave out the silkworms. This is because it is difficult for me to think about them for too long. We noticed they were there, of course. Hard not to notice when still living worms, each the size of your thumb, and wider around, are wriggling their....front....Maybe?....with all thier wormy might, attempting to escape their horrible fate. But none survived, as the waitress happily showed us the correct way to douse the little buggers in oil, pile them into a device that looked like a cross between a spoon and a spatula, and stick them under the grill, where the heat was at its maximum.
I am a meat eater, by choice. I have been known to dine on vegetables, and have even found a new friend in the eggplant served in China, but at heart, I would prefer to dine on cow than dine LIKE a cow. But even my carnivorous tendancies were put to the test at the sight of ten enormous grubs doing the dance of death, while beef snapped, crackled, and popped merrily above them.
I had heard that the last time they were here, Alex and David had both braved the silkworm test, and not one to be found lacking when a gauntlet is thrown, I picked one of them up. The true way to eat a silkworm, as I later discovered, is to bite one end of the guys off, and suck out the innards. Well, that's not the way they eat grubs on Man vs. Wild! Bear Grylls eats the whole damn thing! There is lots of nutrition in the exoskeleton. Plus, if I was going to be brave, I wasn't going to care about the niceities of eating worms. The little guy was going to disappear as quickly as I could make him. With my chopsticks, and a looming sense of fate, I picked up my toasted friend, and popped him into my mouth.
I realize now that reality is a luxury that I may occasionally forgo, if the need is great. This was such a need. I closed my eyes, shut my nose, and proceeded to chew while thinking (As loudly as possible) "You are a fried twinkie...you are a fried twinkie...That os what that sound of crunching in my mouth is, and why you have a creamy center..."
Friends, I have climbed the Great Wall. I have gazed upon the frozen heights of Denali (From about 19 miles away, but still). I have biked through the mountains of Argentina, and come out alive.
But it was not until today that I became a man. Now, I may join my ancestors in the Halls of my Fathers, and they shall not look upon me in scorn. For I have been found worthy of their admiration...
Yeesh. This is what happens when I read too much Tolkein at once."
I think this gives a good snapshot of my time in China. Extrapolate this anecdote to three months, and that gives you a good idea of the fun I had, and it was fun!
